Well lets start with Portland. I had 2 days in Portland last week. Of course being the rose city I took the time to go and sniff the roses. Which might I just say is quite a bit less then what the locals must be on.Had 4 moments of 'Only in America' while there.
Moment 1
I was walking down the street past a thrift shop about 9pm at night just after it had turned dark. A couple in a beat up early eighties family sedan pull up and hop out. Start looking through the clothes and other items which had been left as donations for the charity to sort through when they opened the next day. All I could think was awe... when trailer trash go shopping.... Man they were ripping through the stuff like there was no tomorrow, and they were at a bargain sale....
Moment 2 (my favourite)
I decided that being my second and last night in town I would go and take a walk downtown to a bar and have a drink. Being Sunday I knew it wouldn't be a big night, but still, more important the fact would be that I made the effort. Anyways I walked down into town after about 10pm, into the very quite downtown. There is this 6ft 2 well fairly fit black guy on the street just munching down a burger like it was the best thing ever. Being a moment of understanding as to how much that burger meant to him I gave him a smile as I approached. He says a casual 'hey', to which I respond with my automatic 'Hey, not bad, how's your night'. His response, 'Not bad for my first night out of jail'.
It is at this point I realise that he and I are the only 2 people on the street and well there was also no traffic passing by. Exit stage left in a very quick manner, without sudden movements. I can't help but laugh at that as an answer in retrospect.
Moment 3
I arrive at the Greyhound Bus station for my 17 hour bus ride to Reno. Upon arrival I find that Greyhound have increased their security. So all hand luggage is searched as people enter a departures area, much like an airport. Everything goes fine until 6pm when the security guard packs up shop and leaves. No more searching. Why, why... such futility. If she knew she wouldn't be checking all the passengers for that bus before discontinuing the searching why even begin.
Anyway that was stupid but not the moment which sent me into fits of laughter internally. What made me laugh was the couple from Texas. Seriously I thought I had Billy-Bob and Billie-Sue along for the ride. It was Trailer Park moving day and they had everything packed with them for the move. They had kitty, 15 bags of stuff, and even some of the classical packaging, just the black garbage bag. Forget the $2 Hong Kong Shopper, the preferred packaging of Greyhound removalist America is the cheap brand black garbage bag. You know, the one that stretches with the weight of a piece of paper. Hey if you're high class here you use packing tape to secure it. but that's only showing you're a big spender.
Anyway Billy-Bob, Billie-Sue, and their friend Billy-Joe come over and have a chat after we establish that there is going to be a delay. Billy-Joe says a really stupid comment along the lines of so what language do Australian's speak? To which Billy-Bob hurriedly corrects his brethren by apologizing and pointing out that made him sound 'stoopid'. I held back from from just blurting out 'too late,'stupid is as stupid does'. My viewing of Bambi in my younger days really paid off.
(Might I just say reading this a second time imitating the southern accent make it even funnier).
Oh yeah and to top things off I learnt in the conversation that they were moving back to Texas. You see Billie-Sue was 9 months pregnant (yes, not 8), and well she was leaving her now ex-boyfriend to move with him, her formerly ex-husband who lives in Texas. Yes more internal laughter followed as I concluded that they need only send Jerry Springer researchers to the bus station.
Moment 4
They say picutres say a thousand words. This one though says, get your arse outta there!
Anyway here is a few shots of highlights in Portland. And no there are none of the guy in heaven while chomping on the burger.
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