C is for Cologne... and Chocolate, but not Kölsch.

I'm all for Cologne. And I'm a big fan of Chocolate. However Kölsch... they can keep the Kölsch. Sorry to all my Cologne friends but I really struggled with your local drop. It tasted of water, and very bubbly.

My plan for Cologne with simple. Chocolate Museum and the Dom. Didn't need to know much more about Cologne.

Alas it turned really cold when I got to Cologne so I rugged up as much as I could. And I thought it was supposed to be the middle of Spring! Implementing the plan for Cologne was also my strategy to warm up. Eat chocolate, and then climb the 520 stairs to the top of the Dom.

The first part of the strategy worked fine. I found that if you just keep going to the girl at the chocolate fountain she'll just keep giving you more wafers dipped in chocolate. Not just any chocolate. This was the Lindt Chocolate Museum. By the time I left for destination 2 of my 2 stop Cologne tour I was on a sugar high and ready to go anywhere.

Now, don't get me wrong,  I enjoy the physical challenge of climbing stairs every time there's a historic church I'm exploring. What I don't enjoy is the smart little 10 year old kids who are playing their little mind tricks on me. Just cruising up the 520 stairs non-stop. Without any sign of it being physically draining. There I was trying to gasp for air, wanting to expel my lungs of a verbal diarrhea along the lines of whoever in their right mind would decided to build such a tiny winding stairwell. But no I couldn't. I had to hold in my unhappy thoughts to not disturb the happy chirpy kids bounding up behind me. Putting the pressure on to keep going every time I motioned to stop and catch my breath. I couldn't show them I was broken.

The view down was mind blowing. Thankfully they didn't have any open ledges to peer over. I was fine with peering through the fence holes. 

Anyway after completing this my travels around Cologne contained a lot of walking around. Lots of walking. After the Dom though I kept it to flat land. Explored a few historical point including the Nazi Documentation Museum. Which was basically a former Gestapo centre where they interrogated and tortured people. And then unwound with a gondola ride over the river and back for the view. Alas it would have been even better during the summer. The beer garden over the other side would have been open. Perhaps they served Altbier there.

There's a happy Ü in Münster

I was extremely happy to make it to Münster. I had just gone several days without seeing a familiar face, and well there was always that risk that my typing when I booked my rail ticket on the Dbahn was going to Munster. A lot of difference those little eyes above the u make. For future reference you write it by pressing "ALT" + "0252".

Münster may seem an usual first stop for most when traveling to Germany. But I was there for a reason. To catch up with my former flatmate Lina. All through the planning stages of my trip I had been asking Lina questions, and then not sending any updates for days and weeks on end. So I guess she was fairly sure I was arriving.

The best thing Lina did for me. She didn't recognise me immediately when I got to the station in Germany. Her reaction after realising it was me approaching her rapidly was "wow, you're so tanned". Yes I know tanning is bad etc. But for a really really white guy with Scottish-Anglo Saxon skin, who has reflected light in photos all his life, that is a great compliment to hear. I'll take it.

Anyway Münster is where Lina works, or well studies at the university. Growing and killing plant cells in a biology lab. And before even leaving Australia Lina had drummed into me that I'd be visiting here. I had been told it was a beautiful city, and well it wasn't negotiable. I was going to Münster end of story.

First stop after dropping the bags off was off course to get a German Beer. Nice hey! And not just any beer I had. It was a Franziskaner Weissbeir. My favourite. And it is normally expensive in Australia. But not in Germany. From a corner store its not! So cheap!

Anyway after catching up the first night I was left to explore Münster during the next day. The city did have one of those disturbing German Lutheran Churches where they hung people in little metal cages up high for all to see. Eventually the person would die, and be eaten by the birds. A sort of "this will happen to you if you don't convert to Lutheran" display. Such lovely people in the 1500s they were. Without boring you all to tears with history Münster played an important piece in the negotiations of the end of the "Thirty Years' War (1618-1648)".

Since then, I'm not sure what Münster has contributed outside of beer. As at night I was taken to a traditional German Brewery, or well restaurant of the area. Pinkus Müller Brewery. Again awesome beer!

http://www.pinkus-mueller.de/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thirty_Years%27_War

In Bruges before seeing the movie

Get the movie out. Get the movie out. That's all people keep telling me.

No I not seen the movie. I look at the situation as being like a book reading purist. I decided to see Bruges for myself before watching it on DVD. Be it because as I've heard there's a lot of violence. And I didn't want to think everyone in Bruges is a hitman.

Incidentally half my struggle in writing about my experience here was merely which spelling do I use. Apparently only us English and French use Bruges. The rest, including locals, use Brugge. I'm Australian, so I'll write it in both and decide I'm right either way.

Anyway. Bruges. It is one of those must see cities of the world. I only spent 1 night there. When I get the chance I will go back and spend more time. It's that good.

The streets are quaint. Cobblestone town centre with all nooks and crannies.

The canals all through the city are very historical if not just overly touristy. Heck I took the canal boat ride on the long boat with the rest of the tourist. I can confirm the guide had obviously been doing the tour for quite some time. After establishing that most of the tourist were of English language background, or could understand it as a common language he then proceeded to complete the tour in full monotone. Seriously he was like, "On the left of the canal we have an old building constructed in 1724." Reading between the lines I heard his next line "Oh someone just shoot me now. I can't do this anymore." This guy really sounded like he hated his job.

After walking the streets and completing the customary ABC Tour (Another Bloody Church) I can confirm they have Belgian Chocolate, and Belgian Beer. In fact I did the local Brewery Tour just to make sure. Incidentally the guide at the Brewery was much more a character. She was one of those middle aged real matronly ladies. Very dry in her delivery of humour. Hardly would skip a beat. Whenever she had the chance she'd justify beer as the solution to every health ailment or social issue. Loved her job by the sounds of it. I suspect the owners still allow their staff a few bottles of beer a day. And they had recently introduced a quadruple strength beer of some 9% or 12% alcohol. Some ridiculous level.

Anyway that night I was going to do a pub crawl tour. Probably a good thing I didn't. Belgian beers would have taken their toll. And it leaves me something for next time.

How to get free chocolate in Brussels

These are the easy instructions on how to get free chocolate in Brussels.

Step 1 Carry a camera.
Step 2 Walk into Chocolate shop.

Then a sales assistant will likely be dashing for the free sample tray. At which point you need only say thank you as you browse and consider a purchase.

Then there is a 3rd step. Repeat Step 2. I did it a lot. In fact I became a chocolate snob. If I didn't get a reaction from the sales assistant I'd walk.

Brussels was great. I went for Beer and Chocolate. Found both of them. On top of this I found Belgium Waffles. Although I could hardly see my waffle under all the chocolate. Don't be concerned. It's okay. I also had fruit on the waffle which made it a healthy option.

To help with digestion I topped it off at night with some sort of traditional Belgium Beer Stew for dinner.

Between the chocolate stops I also found the time to explore what is a very historical and beautiful city. In addition to the historically and culturally significant pissing boy fountain there is also a side story of tourist exploration to be done around the theme of cartoons.

Belgium has a significant relation to this genre having been responsible for cartoons including Tin Tin and The Smurfs. Although I could have gone to a museum walking throughout the streets in search of art was a much better option. Public art cartoons were all over the sides of buildings around the city.

Take Ski Gear to Snow. Not to Kruger

I really didn't think though the practicalities of what I was doing when I made the trip up. South Africa in summer, a few days in London, followed by a week of skiing. Hmmm... Needed Sleeping bag for Kruger tour. Ski gear for skiing.

Heck I didn't even get smart about it. I could of probably asked Darren in London to take my ski gear to London with him. But no instead I lugged ski gear all through South Africa. Oh well.

Finally after a whirlwind visit to London I was off to snow. To make the effort of carrying ski gear worthwhile. Megéve was the ski venue of choice this time around. A small skiing region on the French side of the France-Switzerland border. Next to Mont Blanc. For those not familiar with this ski resort shalt I just show you the photo of the pretty decorated tree in the town centre to give you a better understanding.

Yes the tree is decorated with 3000 pieces of Swarofski Crystal apparently. Yes the town was absolutely loaded. Yes you really had to turn a blind eye to the prices of food and drink on the ski hill sometimes. But the skiing was awesome. Even at the end of March.

The venue was perfect. A great choice by my ski buddy, and long time friend Sandra. Cobblestone lanes, and quaint shops to explore off the hill. And nice long ski runs with hardly any chopped up snow to ski on during the day.

Having not skied with Sandra before I was a bit anxious at first. But I was relaxed to find that we both had a healthy sense of self preservation. Enough to agree on a similar level of ski runs. Mainly Blue with a few Reds thrown in. 


Not to say everything went perfectly. On the first day I had a fall on my thumb. One of these moments where in seemingly slow motion you watch something bad happen to yourself. As my thumb landed onto the snow I was sure it was going in a direction it was not designed to. Straight after I felt a sharp pain in my glove. And then immediately I moved to thinking to myself, "do I really want to take the glove off? After all I'm a fainter".

The good news was I didn't need to faint. There was no compound fracture. Based on the fact I could still put a glove back on, I could still ski. Sure that theory might seem a bit unsafe, but for me it worked. I skied the week without further injury. Thanks to wiki I later assessed the injury to be a "Skier's Thumb" injury. Now, weeks after the event I'm not so sure if was broken. After all I'm an accountant not a doctor. It's still not 100%. But at least it's not purple.

Also after my effort on the first day I handed over map reading rights to Sandra. We established I am useless reading a ski map. I had no idea on how to get myself back to the starting point.

 

There was this bright idea to go to Brighton Beach

In visiting London I stayed with my friend Darren. Heck Daz and I have a tradition of meeting up every time I make it to Europe.

This time it was somewhat a home game for Daz. Not staying elsewhere. But it doesn't mean we didn't go elsewhere. We went to Brighton. He had friends there, and had never been to Brighton. So a short train journey for lunch and visit to Brighton Beach was put into motion.

As Australians we all know that technically they don't have beaches in Britain. Either by "white sand" rule, or "it's not warm enough to be considered going to a beach" rule. Look those rules up if you want. Yes maybe I made them up. But it does explain why UK has so many residents in Bondi Beach.

But I have proof. See these photos. This is their beach. Pebbles. And I'm not talking fine pebbles.

And this is what they put on their beaches. Giant size Piers with traditional fairgrounds. Nice for tourists actually. Very nostalgic. Hence the photos look good in black and white.

We had a ball. I even took photos of Darren's wedding.

But it's not all fun and games. You need to keep your wits about you. Giant Seagulls patrol the pier. I don't think they trusted me. Always watching they were. In summer though they probably just fly away with small children instead of the fish'n'chips.

I have proof of my professional tennis career

Most of you may not realise, but I have a background in Professional Tennis. Yes admittedly that is I've been to the Australian Open and watched a finals match years ago. But still...

However this time I was at Wimbledon, and had a post match press conference.

Again admittedly I wasn't in the match. And well we're talking it being 9 months or so since the Wimbledon Final of 2011. The reporters were gone, so I organised a fellow tourist to use my camera to take a photo of the press conference for you all to see the proof. Admittedly the tour guide then asked me to stop my press conference and step aside for others. Alas my "tennis press conference career" cut short in my prime.

So instead we continued on with the tour of the Wimbledon site.

I went to Oxford University

No I wasn't admitted suddenly as a student. But I underestand with my brilliance that you may have been confused. I was a just a tourist. I did though get taken around Oxford by a mate Matt, a collegue at one of the colleges that makes up Oxford. He's a local now. A good guy to know. Can get you in places. Just as long as you look confident.

I saw what I could in a few hours and had to move on.

Saving the best of South Africa until last. Cape Town

Last stop on the South African leg of the trip was Cape Town. After so much road travel it was good to just experience a big city once again. After 7 years of promises I has finally made it to Cape Town. Visiting a long standing friend. Alas time constraints meant I did rush it though. Tabletop Mountain and Robben Island one day. And then a the Cape Peninsula tour the next.

Tabletop Mountain was the first stop. It would hardly could of been any other way. The mountain provides an edge to any background photo of Cape Town. Heck it sure was a great sight to see from the hostel in the morning having arrived at night not realising it was just there.

I took the easy option on the gondola for this trip up to the top. I didn't have the time nor energy for a climb up. My skill of finding a free walking tour came to the foreground. A free tour guide waiting at a sign as I walked past after already doing a loop. "Free Tour" you need only tell me once. So I used the guide for real information and escaped when I needed to move on. Alas other people just miss out on these free tours. Don't know what it was but only I and one other spotted the guy standing there. By the time I had to leave we had the beginnings of a mini tribe starting to form and follow us around.

Alas what I did learn after was when you arrive by taxi to a remote tourist destination, you need to be prepared for a negotiation before getting a reasonable fare back. Some taxi drivers tried to fleece me when I wanted to return. Wanted to charge me 160 Rand (20 Aust dollars) for a ride back to the Waterfront. It only cost me 40 rand from the hostel which was halfway to the waterfront. Ha... good luck with that I thought. In retrospect I should have done the Tourist bus loop which would have cost only 140 Rand for the day. Oh well.

The statue down at the waterfront was pretty stoked I had made it to Cape Town.

 This afternoon and evening I spent catching up with a friend by going to prison. Or well Robben Island. No we weren't visiting anyone we knew. This was the prison Nelson Mandela was at during apartheid. A culturally significant history tour. Almost a compulsory tour really when visiting Cape Town.

Meanwhile the second day was the chance for Penguins to make everything right. And they did. They're given a bad wrap by Hollywood. Cast on the side of evil in Batman, and then as somewhat shady heroes in Madagascar. They actually spend a life we dream of. Or well the penguins of Boulders Beach around Cape Town do. Lay around, catch some rays. And then smile for the camera.

They only moved into the neighbourhood in the 1980s. Therefore contrary to popular belief they did arrive at Boulders Beach before the Madagascar movie franchise. The original Skipper, Rico, Kowalski, and Private have been busy since moving in. Growing the population. Tourist love them, and they love the camera. So the locals of Boulders beach are somewhat happy to share their local foreshore in exchange for tourist dollars. I was happy to oblige in developing their Hollywood careers further by taking a heap of happy snaps.

Further down the road our day tour kicked us out of the bus to work for our lunch. A bicycle ride within the Cape Peninsula National Park. Followed by probably one of my more pointless exercises ever done. We walked up to the lighthouse at the Cape of Good Hope. The view was all of 5 metres. Literally had to walk (up a hill, lots of stairs!) to the lighthouse to be able to see it. The cheaters took the funicular railway. It would be no surprise to anyone to hear that this lighthouse was decommissioned over 100 years ago. They finally accepted that it's no good to have a lighthouse which gets fogged in too much. However I would like to know who was the idiot to decide to keep building during construction. It wasn't built overnight. Surely they realised it was getting fogged in a lot.

Of course after the walk up there is always the walk down. This time down to the Cape of Good Hope. South Africa's no longer most southern point. Whoops! They only confirmed this detail after satellites were able to confirm that the most southern point is a few hundred kilometres east of the Cape. Still it was good enough for me. This is the more iconic point.

The last morning I even made time to get some shopping for warm clothes done. A sleeping bag would not be an appropriate jacket for London and beyond.