Chad Is Everywhere

How to make for a South African physical challenge. Go to Stellenbosch. Go out until 4:30am, and then go to a wine tour at 10am. Big night. Long day!   But I survived. It had to be done. Self inflected injury is no excuse for not being a tourist during the day.  

As a different side trip I chose a stay in Oudtshoorn. An hour inland over a range. The place itself felt like visiting a country town. Luckily I was able to rearrange my trip. Just a night. Phew! Whoa it was quiet. Anyway the main reasons I was there I was able to cover off what I needed. A visit to. The Cango Caves, and a tour of an Ostrich Farm. The local residents at the ostrich farm were sure ugly. Meanwhile I tried the ostrich for dinner. Wasn't a fan. Didn't have an ostrich egg omelette for breakfast. An ostrich egg contains 24 normal eggs. That's a big breaky.  

After having another of those driving days to Port Elizabeth I made it to Knysna. Alas i had to skip Storms River and Jeffrey's Bay. Next time! Before even Australia I had heard this was a beautiful setting. It didn't disappoint. The place looks like a version of Byron Bay or Noosa. Safe, clean, and touristy. Immediately on check in I was booking my first activity. Snorkeling. 4 other Germans (1 guy 3 girls traveling together) were already doing it and I made 5. First thing I noticed was this was not a big organized tour company doing this. No waiver, a guy with a truck. That's it. Anyway after a stop at an awesome viewing point we were dressed up as seals and entered into the water at the Knysna Heads. Knysna snorkeling was a different experience to my previous snorkeling adventures. This was cold water and rocks. Plenty of not so colourful fish and starfish. It was great. However this is where it kinda went pear shaped. In getting to know my fellow traveller...

Whilst in Coffee Bay I was alerted to a need. Jerry our local Xhosa tour guide would like to buy a wife someday. But he lacks cows. The going rate to buy a wife is 10 cows. He has only half a donkey and 2 chickens. Or so he said. At first I thought "poor Jerry". Perhaps I should start a "cows for a cause charity". If only he didn't work for a backpackers surrounded by cheap travelers. Then he might have a chance at saving the 3 cow deposit on his wife. Then again. Maybe he's smart. And knows that he's better off without.

Coffee bay is one of those places off the beaten track that all the travelers were raving about. It's an unspoilt paradise away from it all. And I do mean away. It was a 6hr drive just to the connecting shuttle for another 2 hour shuttle from Durban. However long it took it was worth it. The scenery was nice. The people were great. It was the first time in South Africa I felt relaxed. Don't get me wrong there was still the stark element of haves and have not. But the local Xhosa people appreciated the backpackers and what it financially brought to their town. Many had jobs as a result. Ended up extending a day here it was so good. And then also wanted to complete a specific walk to a local natural bridge. Oh and I learn a valuable lesson. When the guide says duck when climbing into vehicle, really duck. I have a stamp on the forehead to remind me. Everything here is still at genuine South African prices. 11 Rand for a standard 330 ml can of beer. I've been go...

After completing the Kruger tour it was time to hit the road. And well with the limited time available I was on the long haul leaving Dodge City to Durban. On reflection I should have done 2 nights at the Drakensberg Mountains. They were quite a sight to drive past. Arrival in Durban was eye opening. It was the beginning of seeing some normality return to what we expect when we see western cities. Still you can see far from being like home. The hostel in Durban Tekweni was in a great spot just off a safe restaurant street. However the hostel itself was tired, and the staff higher than most of the international guests. It was thankfully only a short a one night stay and onto the bus at 7 am. In fact Durban was so brief I barely got the camera out.

Final day of the Kruger Tour and no Kruger, but still good. Today was the big return drive. However with alternative route to the arrival. We travelled via the Blyde River Canyon. The 3 biggest "real canyon". As defined by canyons with permanent water course through it. The biggest being the Grand Canyon. The 2nd in Namibia. Awesome view! Alas that was the highlight of the day.

Day 2 inside the Kruger Park started with the review of progress. After day 1 in the park we still had Lepards, Cheetah, Hippos and Lions on the list. Of note it was this morning I started a new hobby buying Camera memory cards. Alas my camera was filling fast. Alas the new card wasn't compatible. So the focus was cats, as hippos were a sure thing. So what did we find all morning. Elephants of course! Even after a morning break and additional failed memory card we returned to more elephants. However it was not disappointing. We got a herd of elephants. Including a mother and baby, and 2 adolescent males trying to show us we were getting to close and they were boss. Not as convincing as the day before with the big bull. However enjoyable it was to sit and watch elephants we had other big 5 to find. Lions. And we had received intel that a pride had just made a kill and were sitting eating only 7kms away. It was the longest ever 7kms ever. Not in just time. However we found...

Kruger national park is where many tourist of the world go to get their real life experience of the "big 5". Lions, leopards, buffalo, elephants and rhinos. I actually without thinking made a great choice before leaving Joburg. My accommodation on the eastside of Joburg meant I was nearly the last to be picked up before the tour bus departed. My second win was when the tour guide said was my tour was to be me and 8 ladies. The tour guide was quite chuffed to point this out before I even hopped on. 2 Spanish, 2 Danish, a Frenchie, Swede, German, and an Israeli. First stop of course was obligatory but educational. The service station. I learnt 2 things. Food is cheap. And south Africa loves meat pies. Woo hoo! A fall back food option for this trip with so much road distance planned ahead. After a 5 hr journey we made our first experience. Hoedspruit Endangered Species Wildlife Reserve. A wildlife park set up with the intention of protecting Cheetahs and other animals. ...

The answer was nowhere. That's what most people do when they get to Joburg. Sadly Joburg doesn't have a great recent history for travel. Everything I read. Everything I heard said "don't bother'. My hostel owner was able to say it was fine to walk up the street to the shopping centre. After meeting others it's not a liberty all hostels can say holds true. It wasn't an inconvenience. I only arrived at the hostel at 5pm. And was leaving at 7:30am.

The start of the trip here in 2012 ha already brought it's own surprise. Even before getting to South Africa. The flight goes via the shortest route. Basically passing within 100kms of Antartica. Quite a thing to see icebergs out the window for a few hours. And when they're visible from 39000ft you know they're big. It gave 5 minute of diversion from the tedious monotony of another long flight. Alas difn't see any Japanese "science fleet" being stalked by whale huggers.

I'm back. 2012 finally brings a new holiday overseas. Return of the blog. I'm not even out of the country and I'm been assessed as an unsuitable risk. I got the bomb residue test at Brisbane! Seriously I think there were some very nervous party people going through the security gate. Those who arrived straight from the clubs after attending the Soundwave concert last night in the city looked a lot more dubious. Surely the green haired goth in front was checked. Or were they just a misundrstood group of fine upstanding individuals who merely had a rough upbringing involving a nail gun piercing and a permanent marker. My bad. I think they're just all happy that the residue test doesn't scan all drugs. Or perhaps the Brisbane security were happy to export the problem to Sydney. Next stop. South Africa.

Ok so it's been a few weeks now since I returned. And well I never did finish off the posting onto the blog. So here is a more detailed viewing of photos for you all to see. A bit more of Vietnam. In case you were wondering yes crossing the road is interesting in Hanoi. There's nothing like a game of Hanoi Frogger. It doesn't though take long before you've got nerves of steel and have no problem with just edging out between 30 scooters to cross a road. Halong Bay on the other hand replaces the scooter with the 2 stroke. Imagine the sounds of a 2 stroke mower going putt, putt, splutter as it goes on by. You can almost feel the serenity.

It wasn't Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmare by any stretch. Nor was this any school lunch by Jamie Oliver. This was Vietnamese Cooking 101 with some random chef from the Highway Four Restaurant, and 9 foreigners with a fang for food. I have now been shown how to cook Vietnamese Banana Flower Salad Shrimps Sauteed with Cashew Nuts Sour Fish Broth and Imperial Spring Rolls. And all I remember was the Sweet Chilli dipping sauce was fantastic. And I didn't even get to make that part of the dish.

Bingo! Yep at this rate I'll be yelling out Bingo before everyone else. Because I'm now up to 2 Communist Leader Mausoleums. I did Lenin the other year in Moscow. I now have Uncle Ho's. It leaves only Mao in Bejing, Fidel in Cuba, who we all think is not alive. And that crazy North Korean one from the "Team America" movie whom we all wish wasn't around. I didn't go in I must admit. If you look at the photo closely. That's the queue leading out to the left of shot. I've done the freaky wait in line to see a dead person for over an hour before. That's just weird if I did it again.

Ok I've been to Halong Bay. Mission accomplished. It was not though with picture perfect weather. After a 3 hour drive traveling only 100 or so kms away. Yes its a slow drive when you're in Asia. Longest involuntary game of chicken with oncoming trucks and mopeds you can play. The bay is actualyl spectacular. The first afternoon was taken up by traveling to the main cave sightseeing point. Quite surprising. The 2nd day we had our first ever prisoner exchange. Whereby myself, 2 Swiss, 3 Canadians, and 4 French were exchanged for a a mix of other nations on another boat. Some would say it was because we were on the 3 day tour and not the 2 day tour. But it was as if they were experienced in the process of exchanging us. After the exchange we headed out to our 2nd day of touring. This entailed a bicycle ride on one part of Cat Ba Island before trekking up a hill into a cave and back. After which we visited monkey Island. And well lets just say Monkey King is not nice ...

When you get onto a good thing you stick with it. Hence I went back to the Fanny Ice Cream place. This time I had to have the Banan' Hanoi. Only because it had the cute little hat.

Sure this place may have been a french culture. It may pride itself on being a artistic centre in Asia. But ask what is the hottest ticket in town and you'll find out it's a ticket to the Water Puppets. Best way to describe it is... It's Punch and Judy on Water. Sadly though it is now the most meaningful way I have learnt about the Vietnamese culture.

I'm now 2 days into the Hanoi experience. And yet to see Dog or Cat on the menu. But it doesn't mean it isn't. I mean sure. It may say chicken, or pork, or beef. But how can I be sure. Really. Well it ain't certain but last night I'm pretty sure it wasn't pigeon. Yes pigeon was on the menu served with honey. But to prove in my head that I will not have strange urges in the future just to fly home I point out to you that Pigeon is a small bird. Yet my meal had a drumstick. And there are no pigeons in the Hanoi City Centre. (Or they're in hiding.), So on this flawed unrelated train of thought I have convinced myself it wasn't pigeon. Sure I do not have absolute proof. But can you make a pigeon into this? I didn't see the lady with a pigeon Feather Duster for sale. There is only real chicken feather on that there stick. Alas customs will not be having to tell me that I can't bring a feather duster through customs.

Everywhere I go the Vietnamese women keep asking to see it. They keep asking for it. I just don't know what to say. Check out my Big Dong. Don't be shy. It doesn't bite. Sure it may look just like everyone else's Dong. But it must be good or they wouldn't keep asking for it. Perhaps they're excited by its size. Because every time they say something, they then ask to touch my Dong. They then take it in their hand, and hand me back a smaller Dong. They love my Dong so much they then shower me with gifts when handing me back smaller dongs.